Hmmmm, OK then....
- Follow your dream, and grab every opportunity. Don't believe those around you when they tell you you cannot be an actor - you are incredibly talented!
- Don't start a relationship with R; he will get really upset when you turn down his proposal, and he will rebound badly. It will be very sad.
- S says she is your best friend but really, you need to stand up to her because she is bullying you. Also...
- ... stop telling her who you really like because as soon as you do, she throws herself at them. Her 'reasoning' that if they would go with her, then they are not worthy of you is BS, it just means she is behaving like a tart, and they are undiscerning idiots.
- Keep on with the not falling in love thing - it will serve you very well indeed... and will make it all the sweeter when the real thing comes along (but you are going to have wait until you're almost 40!)
- At some point in the future, all that chocolate-scoffing is going to bite you in the bum (and the thighs). Best to learn moderation now.
- Don't bleach your jeans! No really, just don't. If you do, you will have a very embarrassing evening at The Royalty in Southgate, and the object of your affection will never look at you in quite the same way again.
- Fluorescent pink hair is fine - it's cool... but don't expect your more conservative chums to appreciate it. Do expect vitriolic comments from several of them; just laugh them off - they're not intended to be hurtful.
- See your grandparents more often, and prove to them that while you may not be the child they once knew, you are still a great person. Stop being sulky when they express an opinion which is different to your own; if you want them to respect your views, you have to respect theirs.
- Most importantly... whenever that crazy mother of yours gets in touch, and claims she's sorry for everything she did to you, do not, under any circumstances, believe her. It's all gauged to lure you into a false sense of security so she can hurt you again when you least expect it. And change the locks on your apartment because she will send your brother to steal from you.
There is probably a load more I could tell myself... most of it along the lines of, "Don't be stupid"!!